August 23. Hikeathon Day 3. Water Ways.

Thursday, August 23. Hikeathon Day 3. Water Ways: Cascade Lake, Cascade Creek and Falls, Mountain Lake, Creek between Mountain Lake and Twin Lakes, Twin Lakes. Also: North Beach Trail. 21 miles, 2385 ft elev. gain.

Dear Trail Friends,

It's late, I'm exhausted, and I want to share EVERYTHING with you. I'm imagining Angel as a six-year-old telling me "It doesn't have to be perfect."

The theme for today's walk was water - I had originally planned to visit all the lakes (and most creeks) in Moran Park, but today's hike had a surprise - I discovered a new and previously unknown (to me!) trail, and so went off on an adventure. As a result, Summit Lake will have to wait for another day's hike. Still, walking beside lakes or creeks for most of the day was very powerful for me. I was aware of how connected all these bodies of water are to one another, and how much I appreciate the movement of water, whether it is barely rippling on a lake or rushing wildly over a falls, which always feels playful to me. Let's begin with photo 1, the lagoon at Cascade Lake in the dawn light.

As you probably noticed, I missed two days - Tuesday and Wednesday - because of the unhealthy air quality. The alert was not lifted until noon today, but I decided last night I would get up and test out the air in the morning and hike if it felt clear. I made up a theory that we were farther west than some of the other alert areas, so maybe the westerly winds would clear us sooner. Although the air quality was much better by the time I woke up (5 am), it was far from clear. I am so grateful that my friend Bea gave me a mask last night. I wore it for the whole hike, except rest stops, until 1 pm. It made a huge difference. Photo 1 is me in my mask.

The two days without hiking were a bit of an epiphany in themselves. The depression seemed to have magically lifted (although I know well this may be but a brief reprieve). I kept repeating to myself the trail wisdom: just put one foot in front of the other, and keep your eyes open so you can be surprised by beauty. We were cooped up in the house and Tuesday I did a little brisk walking around the house and found myself really looking at the art on the walls and shelves in our home. Wonderful to wake up and see the familiar fresh again.

Tuesday morning I drove up to the top of Mt. Constitution and released the helium balloons in honor of Angel's birthday. The ritual was profound for me. I have always found that the visceral, tactile, kinesthetic aspect of ritual speaks to a part of me that language can never quite reach (try though she does, with all her heart). Photo 3 is a collage of the the balloon release. The physical feeling of the balloons leaving my hands and surging and bobbing away, and the sight of them - the way they didn't float up as I expected but moved horizontally with the wind as if they were on a journey and knew where they were going. Since the ritual, when I find myself holding on, I remember the feeling of letting the balloons go and the image of them floating away, getting smaller and smaller until they disappeared into the smoky air.

I had a little trail magic on Wednesday as well. Chris is working on a new book and has said she wanted to use one of my drawings for the cover. I thought it was a bad idea and that my drawings would not be good enough or appropriate. But Wednesday she wanted to work on it, and as it turned out, we had a terrific time looking through my drawings together and picking out a few and creating a possible book design. Photo 4 shows some of our drafts laid out on the bed. The brightly colored one (the only one printed out "best" instead of "draft") is the one we picked. I was surprised by how much fun we had and how much I liked the covers.

Look I'm tired, Chris wants to eat dinner, you probably have plenty to do. What am I going to do? Show you a bunch more beautiful pictures of lilies in lakes? Try to tell the story of my day?

Here's the map of the hike in photo 5.

If you look really close you will see a gap in my loop around Mountain Lake - that's where the app and I had a little bit of a falling out. Anyway, I began at Cascade Lake, hiked half the loop (and the lagoon) up to the falls, then along the creek to Mountain Lake, around half that loop, then along the creek to Twin Lakes. But as I began the Twin Lakes Loop there was a new-looking trail branching off to the right. I though "great, they finally built a new loop trail that doesn't go through the swamp here and get your shoes wet and muddy every time you go through" so I took the new trail, only it never curved back to loop around Twin Lakes. You can't really make out Twin lakes on the map but they are the little figure 8 in my route towards the top. So as you see, I took off to the right and went farther and farther.

I kept hoping the new trail was going to take me down to the beach, but it never did. Big disappointment since my theme was water. I was so so excited to discover a new trail, then totally disappointed that it ended up "nowhere." "Not nowhere," I gently pointed out to myself. "Just not where you thought it wa supposed to go. I was disappointed, but still excited because the park has acquired a little bit of coastline property, and I hope someday there will be a hike to the beach. The problem is that the terrain is so steep they would probably need a ski lift rather than a trail, but I refuse to give up hope.

Photo 6 is where I took my second rest stop, and where I turned around on the dirt road to which the new trail led me.

That odd little deck area is where I took my rest stop. Yes, it was private property but no one was around and I didn't think they would mind. Walking back I got some lovely glimpses of ocean and beach between trees, but no photos.

So, let's speed this up so we can all get to whatever we are doing next. Photos 7 and 8 are Twin Lakes with reeds and lily pads and Cascade Lake (in the late afternoon, when I did the last half of the loop near the end of my hike) with lily pads.

And finally Photo 9 is Cascade Lake with cornflowers.

And that's it. That's the blog for today. Because as Angel, living on in my imagination, keeps reminding me: It doesn't have to be perfect. I have always said that Angel was one of my greatest teachers. When I regretted my criticalness and impatience with her, I set out to study compassionate communication. That led not only to greater compassion and connection with self and others, it also led to some of my most joyful experiences - co-teaching a parenting class based on the Nonviolent Communication model of compassionate communication, and through the connections made there, volunteering to teach poetry in a kindergarten and 1st grade classroom. Thank you Angel for the gifts you have brought into my life. And you are still bringing them. Releasing those balloons in your honor has already taught me a great deal about letting go. Like that I can actually do it! Right now.

So bye for now, trail friends, but I will see you bright and early tomorrow morning as we explore different paths to the top of the mountain. Thank you for being here with me. You and the trees. Willing to be present and just be you and let me be me. A thousand thank yous.